elliott · me myself and i · thoughts

Back at work

My days as a (pseudo) SAHM (Stay At Home Mum) ended on 30 September and I officially became a FTWM (Full Time Working Mum) on 1 October 2014. I am not sure how it happened that 6 whole months flew by in a flash. One moment, I was preparing to go on maternity leave (woot woot!) and the next, I’m back at work and my child is turning 7 months old.

I was a little apprehensive about heading back to work,  having spent a lot of time with Elliott since his birth. I worried about everything – whether he would take milk from the bottle (he was fighting it at one point), whether my mum can cope (she’s now his primary care giver), whether he will miss me too much, yada yada yada. In fact, I had not one but two horrible nightmares a couple of weeks back. I dreamt that Elliott and I were drowning in a tsunami-like scenario and when we were saved, I was screaming in anguish to everyone to “PLEASE SAVE MY CHILD!”. The other dream had me losing 4 molars.

Classic anxiety dreams.

So 1 October came and I woke up at 6am even though my alarm was set for 7. After getting ready for work in semi-darkness and wearing proper make-up again, I tip-toed out of the room and closed the door on my sleeping child.

Coincidentally, 1 October also marks the office big move – my department was moving to a new building. Thus, much of my first day back at work was spent unpacking and setting up my new work space. That provided a lot of distraction and truth be told, I did not miss my child very much. It was also nice to catch up with my colleagues again over a leisurely lunch where I could eat with both hands without having to wolf down my food. In fact, I even had time for tea 🙂 Many people have remarked that I am “too skinny” and I foresee that I will quite possibly be gaining back all that lost weight very soon, now that I am back at work.

My first day back at work passed in a jiffy and before long, it was time to head home. I drove home with a sense of urgency because I couldn’t wait to see my boo boo. He was at the park with the boy (who took leave to be at home) and when he saw me approach, he broke into a wide grin and gave me the sweetest smile that melted my heart so.

That evening, Elliott was more needy than usual. He probably realised that I was away for most of the day and was probably unsure what was happening. However, I am convinced that children adapt very quickly and things will settle once we fall into a routine. Apparently, this little man did not nap for as long as he usually does so at about 8pm, he fell soundly asleep. Of course, he woke up almost every other hour that very night after 1am (which almost killed me) but let’s just save that story for another day.

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