elliott · me myself and i · moments · thoughts

The countdown

I gave birth in March and after 4 months of maternity leave, took an additional 2 months of no-pay leave. It was something I really wanted to do because I wanted to spend more time with our child. The child that we tried so hard to have.

6 months away from work seems like a really long time but as I glanced at the calendar, it hit me that I only have another 15 days or so before I rejoin the workforce.

15 days. Half a month.

Once again, time has flown by. My tiny newborn is now a six month old. I feel a lump in throat because weekday mornings will no longer be the same. I love waking up with him beside me where he gives me his widest grin and I greet him with the loudest “GOOD MORNING SWEETIE!” that I can master in my sleepy stupor. I love lying in bed, staring at his beautiful face and planting wet kisses all over his nose, forehead and cheeks.

Come October, it’d be quick kisses before we hurry out of the house and he is dropped off at the in-laws for the day. Many have told me that it will be very difficult in the early days where tears will be aplenty, both from bub and mum. I foresee a heavy heart come October. At least for the first few weeks. I know many working mums have gone through the same and survived, and I will too. I guess I, or rather, we, just need a little time to get used to our new routine.

This returning to work stint is also making me a little stressed out because I am not sure if I will still have sufficient milk for him. I have been nursing him directly for a couple of months now because it is just much easier and more convenient as compared to pumping milk. I have a few packets of frozen milk stashed away in preparation but I can’t help but feel nervous that it won’t be enough.

I guess I can always count my blessings and look on the bright side. Things could be much worst, right? Elliott will be in good hands of the MIL and my mum. My work hours are pretty fixed which means that come 6pm, I’d be out of the office door. My work place is also a 5-minute drive to my in-laws place which means that I do not need to drive across the island in rush hour traffic to pick him up everyday. I am also thankful that I have a car to use so that we are both comfortable in our commute.

I guess we’d be ok. Till then, I shall appreciate and enjoy the now.

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