14 August, Thursday.
Today, I nicked Elliott’s right thumb while trying to cut his nails. I knew that it was bound to happen one day, sooner or later. All my friends who are mothers tell me that it WILL happen and that when it does, stop the bleeding and move on because (quote) babies’ skin heals very fast and they won’t remember it happened (unquote).
I was nursing him and trying to cut his nails when he suddenly cried very sharply and loudly. I looked down at his thumb and when I applied gentle pressure, red fresh blood oozed out slowly. Not like it was gushing or anything but still, it nearly brought my heart to a stop.
E cried loud and hard. My mum (who was beside me) started shouting that “I told you not to cut when he’s not still….!”, “Aiyooo, is it very bad?”, “Poor thing….!! Aiyoooooo! How? What to apply on it?” and a whole host of statements that made me feel 10x worst than how I was already feeling. I actually yelled at her to PLEASE STOP IT because I was already feeling absolutely terrible.
Tears (mine) welled up in my eyes as my child cried with big fat tears spilling out of his eyes. I held him close and said “Sorry…I’m so so so sorry” a million times.
I felt like the world’s worst mother.
I remembered reading that breast milk solves (almost) everything so quickly applied some to the wound. I couldn’t believe that I just hurt my own child. What kind of mother does that?!
I texted the BFF because I knew that she’d know what to do. She tells me that baby skin heals very fast and that she’s also done it many times. She also quipped that E will forget it in 10 minutes and that I’d still be the best mum in the world to him. That just made me cry harder, damnit.
And you know what? She was right. E stopped crying soon after and continued to nurse like the cut didn’t happen.
My heart is still reeling from hurting my child accidentally and it might be a while before I dare to cut his nails again (urgh).