family · moments

“How are you doing?”

It has been 12 days since my beloved grandma passed on. Many concerned friends have asked me how I’m doing. And I say that I’m fine.

Well, I generally am doing fine. Some days are better than others. I still find it hard to believe that I will never see her again. Ever. And when I allow my thoughts to wander to all the wonderful memories that we shared, my eyes will well up with tears.

Like today.

I was walking around town waiting for the boy to meet me after work when I wandered past the shoes department. My eyes wandered to the Scholl shoes and it made me think of my MaMa again. She used to like wearing their sandals because they’re comfortable and non-slip.

I walked past the make-up counters and thought of her as well. She loved face powder and was always running out of them.

I spotted a bottle of Ribena in my mum’s room today and I asked why it was there. She told me that MaMa bought it for my sister and told my mum to pass it to her ‘because she likes Ribena’. My mum did not pass it on because we don’t remember my sister liking Ribena particularly. That’s just my MaMa. She was always buying things for us just because we mentioned that we like it.

Mum said sadly: Now, even if we want MaMa to buy things for us, it is no longer possible.

And it made my heart break again.

IMG_1273

I miss her so very much and wish I knew how she is doing.

(One of my favourite pictures of my Ma Ma taken at CNY 2012. It turned out to be the last CNY we had with her. She adored Moon and would pet her lovingly whenever we visited.)

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